what do you do the night before you are to be admitted into the chemo ward at royal north shore hospital? a place where you are surrounded by snoring, hairless old men and women, drips that clinkly clank along the ground as you walk, food that tastes as if had been made a week ago and reheated as you please. you are a prisoner in your own room. and yet here i am at home, wondering what joious thing i can do with myself before i face this place tomorrow.
i feeling of dread runs through me, tears from my eyes, how can i stop this from happening. how can i prepare myself for countless bags of life threatening drugs that are about to run through my body leaving me to feel sick from the head to the stomach, empty, hopeless and lost. i have so much faith inside of me that i will prevail. i will get through. there is not one doubt inside of me. but how to get through the days with only health, peace and joy is so beyond me.
my heart yearns for the people i love. for them to know the truth about the God who has saved me. The God who gets me through each day, one by one. I pray, I feel peace, the joy he gives brings me strength. This strength makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. Even conquer the worlds worst disease. Cancer. I don’t ask why I have it, I just know the story I am to tell at the end of it will save the lives of the lost because without Jesus, I would not be at the place I am today.
So my lovely friends, pray with me for strength during this season, for a bone marrow donor as soon as possible, for joy, for good news, helpful nurses, a closeness with jesus.
I will keep you posted.