empty rooms


I had a dream a few nights ago that it was the opening night of my ballet concert when I was about nine years old. The lights in the auditorium were shining, the “big girls” were putting buns in the tiny tots hair, we were all getting dressed into our gorgeous pink tutus, the smell of hairspray was making us go crazy. Me and my friends were racing backstage to see if we could see our mums and dads in their red velvet seats. I was so excited because I had been to every practice, every dress rehearsal, I knew what I was doing. I was going to be a star.

Then, for some reason right before it was time to go on stage my ballet teacher pulled all the dancers together and said “look girls, we’ve just realised the stage is smaller than we thought so we are going to have to cut one dancer, sam you are going to have to sit this one out.”

My heart sunk to my belly. Out of the 60 or so girls why me? Why am I never good enough?

I was taken aside and put in a room to sit by myself until the show was over. I felt so rejected, so lost and so confused.

Everyday we are confronted with rejection. Maybe your father or mother has left you, maybe your friends at school or uni are to busy to see you, maybe you have a talent and you’ve never been chosen to show it in front of a crowd. We feel like we’ve been shoved aside, put in a little room and left to dwell in our misery wondering what we ever did wrong.

In the bible, Jesus was rejected in so many ways:

–  He was rejected in the womb by Joseph. Joseph sought to put Mary away. He thought she’d sinned.
– There was no where to put Jesus when he was born except a smelly old manger where the animals drank from.
– At age twelve his parents forgot he’d be at the temple praising his Father. They actually forgot that he was the son of God.
– Before his death on the cross he was betrayed by his own disciple Judas.
– Pontous Pilate and Barabbas rejected him.
– His own people rejected him and their belief in Him failed when they thought he actually died.
– His own Father rejected him on the cross.

When God turned his back on Jesus, Jesus heart literally burst with water and blood. He was physically broken. Jesus experienced everything we have. He felt every rejection that we feel today.

This week, the enemy has been trying to find ways to pull me off track. he is so low, that he even tried to get me in my sleep. its funny, mum woke at the same time this dream was over, she came into my room and we prayed and the presence of the enemy left.

So what do we do once we’ve been rejected? The most important thing is to recognise what we’ve been rejected from. For me, the story of the ballet was an alleyway for the devil to take to remind me of something similar that happened to me when I was younger. Nothing extreme like that happened but I did feel like I was never good enough to be in the front row, to be the star. That’s every girls dream. I suppose that leads to this fear in me that I will never do anything great for God. But this is such a lie. The devil wants to place fear in me to stop me from hoping and dreaming about my future. What is it for you? Think about it and write it down.

After Jesus was rejected, he completely humbled himself on our behalf.

–        He was God who became man so that we could become the sons of God. John 1:12
–        He became sin so we could become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
–        He became a curse so that we could live in blessing. Galatians 3:13
–        He became sick so that we could be healed. Isaiah 53:4-5
–        He became poor so that through His poverty we could be rich. 2 Corinthians 8:9
–        He died the death He did not deserve so that we could have the eternal life we could not deserve. Galatians 2:20 and 1 John 5:11-13
–        He was defeated on the cross so that we could live victorious. Romans 8:37
–        He came to earth through natural birth so that we could enter His kingdom through spiritual birth. 1 John 3:3
–        He came to live on earth so that we could go to live in Heaven. John 14:1-6
–        Clothed Himself as man so we can be clothed with the Spirit of God. Philippians 2:4-8

Jesus died on the cross so that we can live in permanent victory. Yes, I have had Leukaemia and a bone marrow transplant this year but who says that the outcome can’t be victory? The devil still tries to enter my life daily and I have to command him to leave, I pray then I am generally at complete peace. The most important thing is to recognise what the devil is trying to get at. What kind of lies is he telling you? Then bind it and start speaking truth over your own life.

This is what has been on my heart the last few days.



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11 responses to “empty rooms

  1. Bronte Waller

    awesome- so brilliant. like putting a stake in the ground and saying- no more. so encouraging. thank you, sam. xxxx

  2. Chelsea

    Beloved, I went and saw Margaret at PUC on Saturday, not sure if you’ve ever heard of her, but she and I were praying and the theme of rejection and jesus was revealed to me. I didn’t know what it meant at the time until I read your blog.
    Mannn you have the goods 😉 You are my little firefly and are constantly in my thoughts. Chin up bubs, I’ll see you soon.
    love love love Chel xxx

  3. girlhardlyworking

    You are amazing!

    I love you

    Beth xxx

  4. Cassie

    Great post, Sam. x

  5. groundpress

    your pretty amazing.

  6. Jaime Stefanac

    Wow. Just a little bit of incredible. So wise.

  7. Mazmumoftwo

    thank you Sam…..thank you very much.

  8. Great words

    Great words Sam. The great message is ” we are accapted in the Beloved.” Which reminds me ” My Beloved is mine and I am His and His Banner over me is Love.” Hallelujah! Love Grandad. xxxxxxxxx

  9. gilliano

    you are so wise and determined! it completely inspires. X.

  10. Easily the best christian blog post I’ve read this year.

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