I have a lump in my throat when I go to bed each night, anxious for sleep and fear for what the next day holds.
I have a lump in my throat on the days that I meet a new surgeon, I have to again retell my story and repeat my list of drugs. I am always reminded of my painful journey.
I have a lump in my throat when I sit on my bed and look around, trying to find something that will fill my life with a kind of purpose.
I have a lump in my throat when my favorite tv series finishes. What do I do with my time?
I have a lump in my throat when I hear about what others have been through while I have been gone. Why couldn’t I be around to help them?
I have a lump in my throat when I see my old friends well, established and moving on.
I have a lump in my throat when school holidays end and there is no one around.
I have a lump when I think of the future. Is my sentence of infertility for real?
I get a lump in my throat and I feel all hope is lost.
A lump when I have endless days to do whatever I like.
I get a lump in my throat when people tell me its going to be okay because I know its true. It’s just too hard to try and persevere.
I am learning not to try and control my thoughts but to stop letting them control me.
My words are true, but I am still dreaming. It has been a year this week since my last dose of chemotherapy. This time last year I was completely wiped out with no memory of three days. Its insane to think about what has happened during this time. God is teaching me daily how to take care of myself and look after my mind. Physically my health is improving but emotionally, things are challenging. Today I am going to visit a clinical psychologist. Pray for my safety and pray that my thoughts don’t control me.