Category Archives: update

push off… hold on.

qz1d

Wow, so it’s been over a month since i’ve written. As you know a lot in this space and time has happened to me. It’s probably been the biggest part of the roller coaster yet. I will not be able to tell you all the stories clearly as some days I have been unconscious, some hallucinating, but now more sleeping. My American bone marrow donor cells have definitely taken their toll on me. My hands are like constant pins and needles, my skin looks and feels like marzipan. Hmm, don’t know if that’s a good simile. Meh.

So since being out, I have been able to go to church and far out, I can’t believe how good it is. I swear every message Ps. Phil Pringle has spoken has touched me right on the inside. I wanted to share a bit of that with you, in hope to plant hope in the circumstance of whatever you are going through.

Romans 15:13

13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Everyday we go from despair to hope, hope to despair, backwards and forwards. For me, I can go to ¬†this headspace of “I look like an alien, I have no energy, I don’t want to be seen in public, I don’t have any hope for a future because I can’t even decide a career choice.” I used to love working with children, nannying, and teaching but because I am no “immuno-suppressed” I have to be so careful with bugs and germs I let my body around. So here I am stuck in despair.

But no.

As Ps. Phil preaches and as it says in Romans, God is a God of positive pictures. Expectation is apart of this positivity. It’s about the ability to receive. How much are we carrying around? He arranges our circumstances when we are ready with expectation. I love what it says in

Hebrews 10:23

3Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Amongst all this mess, we mustn’t forget that God is faithful. Just go with it and ask God to take you with Him. Remember that if you have given your heart to God, you’ve given Him permission to take you with Him wherever he goes. Whether it be as big as Leukaemia or as small as changing jobs, he has promised hope to us.

The past is the past, the future is what we cling onto. Everyday we wake for the opportunity to spend with our God in heaven. Everything can be clear again. And the road isn’t always hard. There is patience. But patience builds character. I mean if I could rewind this year, take all the sickness, heartache everything back, I don’t know if I would. Of course I wish it would’ve been an easy step by step process. I wish I were bouncing out of bed every morning to the gym, to grab a coffee and down to the beach. There are so many things I want. But as Ps Phil pointed out that if there’s no patience, our trees never bear fruit. As we watch time, we watch the fulfillment of our dreams come to pass.

God’s timing is accurate. Keep drawing, designing, writing, creating, dreaming. Have a vision. Have a hope. And make sure lots of laughter is including in the whole package.

++ Inspiration from this blog was drawn from Ps. Phil Pringle’s messages Saturday Night 20 Sept, Sunday Night 21 Sept, Sunday Morning 27 Sept. Get DVDs from http://www.myc3church.net

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this week

i went to hospital yesterday ready for another full week of chemo. i had my bone marrow biopsy. then my doctor called and said my counts are too low to start chemo so now i am home with not much to do. 

woo. x.

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Filed under leukaemia, update